There had been one segment of me firing everybody I met one day, done shortly after I got rid of Dick Cheney.The show opened in a replica of the Oval Office. It was late and ‘I’ was meeting with Tina Fey. I was behind my desk, and she was sitting in front of it, playing the part of a Congresswoman. I was arguing for her to support my position, while she was refusing to support me.Darrell: “What can I do get you to support the bill, Congresswoman?”Tina: “I am sorry, Mr. President, but I just can’t do it.”Darrell: “Nothing at all? Are you sure?”Tina: “My mind is made up, sir.”Darrell: “This is critical, Congresswoman!”Tina: “No, Mister President, I won’t change my mind!”Darrell: “Then I have no other choice. You’ll just have to receive the Carl Buckman Experience!”With that a large red button rose magically up through the desk. He pushed it, and suddenly the lights began to dim. Overhead speakers dropped down and “Love Is In The Air” began to play. A disco ball dropped down and colored. Next he thought his shoes were not clean enough so he gave them a polish. What had he done with the theatre tickets? He spent a fruitless half hour emptying his wallet and desk drawers only to remember that he was going to pick them up at the box-office on arrival. He mentally kicked himself. After that he checked his drinks cupboard and the fridge for cold drinks. That set him off dithering about whether to get ice out now and into a cool box. He finally decided it could wait. Had he got enough petrol in the car? He raced out to the garage. The tank was three-quarters full.At four he forced himself to have a cup of tea and one of Sharon's shortbreads and made himself pick up the crossword. All he did was look at it. His mind was flooded with Deborah.Half an hour later he went to have a bath and change. Despite shaving and paying an inordinate amount of time to his fingernails he was fully ready three quarters of an hour early. All that was left to him was to pace up and down and.
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